Life is far too short to let even the smallest moments pass
As a trauma therapist with years of experience, I have always maintained that one of the most challenging experiences a First Responder can face is responding to the tragic death of a child. While some may argue that Line of Duty Deaths are more severe, I respectfully differ in that perspective. The death of a child shatters our sense of stability, disrupting the natural order we believe life should follow. There is an unwritten rule that children should not precede their parents in death. Responding to the death of an elderly person, as morbid as it may sound, aligns more with our expectations. However, the death of a child defies logic and leaves us grappling with incomprehensible pain.
Throughout my career, I have been involved in crisis responses to numerous child-related tragedies, ranging from natural disasters and national emergencies to mass shootings, murders, neglect, and heartbreaking suicides. In my role as a trauma therapist, I have witnessed the profound impact on families facing these devastating losses – a pain too overwhelming for words.
Recently, during my commute home, I found myself reflecting on a morning crisis call that stirred those familiar overwhelming emotions. The specifics of the call are not as crucial as the profound realization it prompted. As a parent myself, the idea of burying one's child is an unthinkable nightmare. We, as parents, strive to shield our children from pain, discomfort, fear, helplessness, and hopelessness. We nurture, guide, encourage, worry, love, and care for them more than ourselves, with the notion of burying them never crossing our minds.
When a child dies, the world as a parent knows it ceases to make sense. The pain becomes incomprehensible, exacerbated by the circumstances surrounding the death. The core purpose of parenthood is to guide our children through life, passing on wisdom to generations to come. I share these reflections not to inflict pain or evoke pity but to underscore the paramount importance of our role as parents.
Love your children and instill in them the ability to make informed decisions about their lives, friendships, bodies, minds, and futures. Offer your unwavering support when they need it, and recognize when it's time to let them spread their wings. Share laughter, build confidence, and impart values that will shape them into good individuals. Teach them respect and manners, fostering a sense of self-respect while honoring others. Hold them close, openly express your affection, and revel in the precious moments life provides, for it is too short to let even the smallest gestures pass unnoticed.
In the face of unimaginable tragedies, let our commitment as parents be a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of love.
